Social Media Is Hurting Our Well-Being

By Guest Author Dan Schawbel

Publisher Credit: Excerpted from Back to Human: How Great Leaders Create Connection in the Age of Isolation by Dan Schawbel. Copyright © 2018. Available from Da Capo Lifelong Books, an imprint of Perseus Books, LLC, a subsidiary of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Technology is fueling loneliness. I’m an introverted entrepreneur who sometimes spends way too long tucked away inside my home office and not enough time interacting with others. And while I’ve often thought that isolation and solitude give me a chance to recharge, I’ve also noticed that when I spend too much time alone, not only do I get lonely, but the next time I’m around people I feel somewhat awkward and stumble over my words. Those are just my symptoms. Many researchers have studied the effects of isolation on our minds, cognitive abilities, and health. Clinical psychologist Ian Robbins found that subjects who had been isolated in soundproofed rooms in a former nuclear bunker for as little as forty-eight hours suffered from anxiety and paranoia and exhibited deterioration in their overall mental functioning. Social psychologist Craig Haney studied inmates who spent time isolated from other prisoners in the Security Housing Unit at the maximum-security prison Pelican Bay. Nearly all of them suffered from anxiety, nervousness, and psychological trauma. Also, many studies point to social isolation and the lack of close friends as a major health risk for elderly people.

While you (hopefully) may not be able to relate to being in solitary confinement, we have all felt isolated and alone at one time or another. And it’s becoming more and more common as we replace face time with FaceTime and other apps.

Technology—especially social media—is isolating us even more. A study of 1,787 young adults by psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh found that just two hours of social media use per day doubles the risk of social isolation. Researchers at the University of Houston studied Facebook users, looking at how likely they are to compare themselves to others, how they feel about other people’s posts, and whether they experience depressive symptoms while browsing. They found that the more active people were on Facebook, the more depressed they were.

No one knows exactly why there’s a connection between social media use and depression, but I have a theory. When we log into Facebook and check our friends’ updates, on the surface we may applaud their achievements or be excited about their new babies, but underneath we end up feeling inadequate. That’s because our own accomplishments are no longer enough. We now feel the need to surpass others and showcase our successes—one-upping others in the process—on social media. Online, we’ve become our best PR versions of ourselves, but I’ve come to believe that the more baby pictures people share, the unhappier they are. They’re using the baby to cover up issues they’re having in their careers or marriages. You may have friends who do this or may be guilty of doing it yourself. One recent study found that only 6 percent of young people have a completely true picture of their lives on social media, thanks to their need to impress others. Although some competition is healthy, social networking has amplified our deepest insecurities about our own value. The more we check our social media feeds, the more we’re comparing our lives to others. We feel that we can never measure up, and we fail to realize our own unique work contributions.

Social media and technology use is also associated with other negative outcomes. Gallup interviewed more than five thousand people to investigate the association between Facebook activity and real-world social activity and found that Facebook use was negatively associated with well-being. Now don’t get me wrong; even though I’m picking on Facebook and other social media platforms, I’m a big fan. My point is that these networks were supposed to bring us closer together, but in addition to isolating and depressing us, they have negatively impacted our well-being and have changed our view of what a meaningful career and life should look like.

As technology becomes more and more pervasive in our personal and work lives—and it will— interpersonal skills will become more important. “Doing business is all about relationships, and relationship-building skills will never be automated,” says Dan Klamm, director of talent marketing and alumni relations at Nielsen. “Things like listening skills, empathy, conflict resolution, and follow?up will be more important than ever. Technology and social networking platforms give us new avenues to spark connections and maintain relationships, but truly building a trusting connection with someone involves 1:1 communication.”

Andrew Miele, director of development at Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts, believes that this may be an especially difficult challenge for young professionals. “While technology as a medium for social interaction has been able to connect people across distances, it can lead to the opposite over the long term. Behaviorally, generations who are brought up with technology from childhood may find it harder to engage and focus in the workplace, and may have a harder time building meaningful work relationships. Those with greater attention spans and focus, and those who demonstrate the ability to generate ideas will likely be highly sought after by future employers.”

The people you regularly interact with influence your well-being, happiness, and fulfillment. When you replace emotional connections with digital ones, you lose the sensation of being present and the feeling of being alive. Every time you choose to send a message instead of picking up your phone or walking a few feet to the office next to yours, you miss an opportunity to engage with your teammates on a deeper level. Instead of letting technology be your crutch, let it be a path to more interactions, joy, and meaning.